Harry has been sober now for 86 days...85, I guess, since today is just beginning. It is wonderful to see him going back to the man I loved. He is anxious to get me back with all my bells and whistles: daughters, support, intimacy, and friendship...plus I am a damn good cook.
That's not easy. He has lied to me for such a long time. That, more than the verbal abuse and neglect, hurts. And I can't wash away the shame and anger as easily as I should. Or shouldn't I? Many of his new friends guarantee that we will know a greater level of intimacy and love if we come back to one another. They also say that he will be successful once again if he just doesn't drink. I cannot lie: I have a lot of fear.
I stubbornly hold on to my marriage. Why?
"I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take and still somehow,
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all."
-Joanie Mitchell
No comments:
Post a Comment